Swine Divine

On Saturday we took a sunny drive to Pinal County's Pork Shop. If you're a close friend of mine (Stephanie and mi Madre), you know I can't stand meat, especially swine in any variety. I was a vegetarian in high school and lived on Del Taco bean and cheese burritos for about 4 years. But I married a T. rex, a total carnivore, a man who could live on meat alone, who just this morning sawed apart a sausage log and ate it for breakfast. I've surrendered to the fact that a chica must please her man so that's why we made the drive. We must have meat. We must always have meat.

The Pork Shop was swarming with people, and we quickly gathered the following: 4lbs of peppered bacon, a jalapeno-cream cheese log, ribs, a bag of dried pork green chili sticks, AND a green chili burrito. (Are you puking your brains out right now?) I know, it's enough pork to feed the neighborhood.

Do you know what else will horrify you? Our family, in two days, has eaten it ALL. The swine was that delicious, and the green chili burrito is the best I've ever eaten. The best!

Anyhoo, as we were checking out of the Pork Shop, I kindly commented on the man's stache pictured above. I said, "That stache is manly." To which he replied, "My wife hates it." To which mi Amor replied, "I can't grow a stache at all." To which mustache man replied to mi Amor, "But you look like you have such soft skin." To which I replied,"He does. He does. That's so true! The softest skin in the deep blue sea!" End conversation, add awkward silence.

We paid fifty bucks and walked out of the Pork Shop, and on the way out mi Amor informed me, "Never comment on the manliness of a man's stache in front of your own man; it's just not a way to behave." To which I replied, "I'm sorry." Good news: It's Monday and we're still married.

P.S. I have a Mia Maid whose thirst for bacon is unquenchable and so I delivered a pound to her doorstep.

P.P.S. Looks like this chica needs reminding on how to treat her man. Any suggestions?