It's already Christmas at Target and Walmart, and that's why, on our way home from school today, I asked my homies to cough up their Christmas lists. I even made them sign an "I Won't Change My Mind" contract. (Not really.)
I did say, "Santa might have a nervous breakdown if you change your minds too much. It's really hard for him when, for example, a little girl says she wants the American Girl doll, Rebecca, then two days before Christmas, she changes her mind and wants a beach cruiser. Besides, the elves have such little hands. We wouldn't want to put them through such torture. My point is: What you put on your lists must stay on your lists. No changies. Okey dokey, artichokey?"
They just sat there, staring. Finally the littlest one blurted, "Santa can do anything."
I glared at my oldest homie, because she knows the truth about Santa. (I didn't tell her. You can blame that one on mi Amor.) I didn't want her to go ahead and share that Santa's pocket book is only as big as the one sitting on the armrest next to us (which currently holds: a parking ticket, a pile of receipts, and three pennies).
She's usually the one who demands the most, and so, my message was really for her. For example, the above pictured bike is at the top of her list. I can't blame her for falling in love with it, but we (Santa and I) can't handle a little switcheroo at the last second, especially at the tune of 459 bucks.
You'll have to excuse me while Santa and I plan a yard sale. We'll need to earn funds, so we can put this bike on layaway, ASAP. Or else, she may be forced to settle for a Huffy with an extra long banana seat. It might just be the perfect bike for junior high. What would her friends say?