Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Monday, November 8, 2010
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Monday, September 27, 2010
Monday, September 13, 2010
So...my homegurl is running for Choir Council today, and I'm here praying my brains out that she doesn't botch her speech (so nerve wracking). I had her bring Edward and Jacob along for a little help, just in case there was any question who should be this year's choir president/party planner. Here's the speech she wrote, and I think it's pretty respectable, if I do say so myself.
Hi, my name is Hannah, and I am running for this year’s Choir Council. Some of you may have seen the movie Eclipse. You may be Team Edward, and some of you may be team Jacob, but the only team I am on is Team Greenfield Junior High School Choir! I want to be in Choir Council for these three reasons:
1. I love to plan fun activities! As a member of the Choir Council, I will help plan parties that will be memorable and a blast for everyone!
2. I love working with other people. When you work together as a team, better and more creative ideas can be created.
3. But most importantly, I will work hard to make your year in choir the best one yet!
So remember to vote for me, and together we'll make this year ROCK!
P.S. She handed out Pop Rocks to seal the deal.
P.P.S. Go get your own Jacob and Edward for 97 cents at Last Chance in Phoenix.
Does Hannah's speech remind you of Summer's speech in Napoleon Dynamite? Just wondering.
Monday, August 30, 2010
So, I went to the dark side--so Darth V. of me, I know. Here's the thing: I have a bald patch in the back of my head due to non-stop bleaching and years of Sun-In streaking. (Did you ever use Sun-In? Did you, huh? That's the WORST lightening product on earth, FYI, and 7th grade in the girls locker room was the last time I sprayed that junk in my hair.) Anyhoo, my hair dresser Kim J. told me that the only way I could get my locks looking like Angelina J's is by using a semi-permanent, non-peroxide hair color, hence, the darker shade of hair.
Friday, August 20, 2010
Yesterday I substitute taught the kids in room F-5, and I may have behaved like Miss Viola Swamp. By the end of the day I had a pulsating headache, and here are the reasons why:
Sunday, August 8, 2010
Thursday, August 5, 2010
I like Mormon boys, and I cannot lie.
You other sisters can't deny.
When a boy walks in with his scriptures in his case
and a smile upon his face, you get a date!
A celestial mate.
He's goin' on a mission, havin' you wishin'...you had a man,
Someone to hold your hand!
We don't like your features!
Your brothers are hot, and you are not!
So give us some righteous Priests! Huh!
P.S. The looks of disgust that my homegurl throws at me pierce me to the core. I had better enroll in some "How to Be Cooler" classes. She thinks my Vanilla Ice rappin' skills stink like beef and cheese. Or maybe it's just my whole personage that offends every bone in her body. The church is still true.
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Mi Amor and I were going to go to tonight's D-backs game. I was going to get all gussied up in my D-backs gear and woo him all the way to the stadium with my fluttering eyelashes and D-backs foam finger. But as I stood, ironing our church clothes for tomorrow's 8 o'clock session of church (we're always 5 minutes late, no matter how much I prepare), this thought came into my brain: Go to the temple tonight, instead of the game. I went over to my phone and texted the following message:
Monday, July 19, 2010
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Friday, July 9, 2010
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Friday, July 2, 2010
I came home from Sunsplash (our local water park) with some bits of advise.
Monday, June 28, 2010
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Monday, June 14, 2010
There isn't an uglier picture on the planet. Just look at my neck meat--so disgust. Can you even stand looking at it? Right after Mi Amor snapped the picture, I knew it would go down in Suzuki family picture history. We've looked at the picture a hundred times since, and every time we look at it, we roar and scream about how crazy I look. It never gets old, so I just had to show it to you.
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Monday, June 7, 2010
Once a week my homgurl and I cuddle on the couch and watch a new episode of TLC's hit TV show, "Toddlers and Tiaras." Have you heard of it? Does the TV show disgust you, huh? Do you become shelled-shocked as you watch the moms transform their sweet little girls into miniature tramps, all in hopes of winning a small wad of cash and becoming Miss Grand Supreme of Who Knows What?
Monday, May 24, 2010
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Could my hair look any more like a scarecrow's? Yikes! Someone needs to deep condition her mop, like, asap. Plus, I look manish. I think I see a stache shadow on my upper lip.
She brings tears to my eyes. I lied when I said she's not dancing anymore. She's still taking one class, just in case soccer doesn't work out. (Let's pray she sees the light.) I got her all dressed up for her recital pictures, and I said, "Are you sure your dreams don't include dancing for the rest of your life?" She rolled her eyes at me, and I don't blame her for it. What will she do with this nag-hag who won't let it go?
Friday, May 21, 2010
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Monday, May 17, 2010
On Saturday we packed the bus and rode to the Gila Valley Temple open house. It was the first time my homegurl had seen a temple in its entirety, and I couldn't wait to watch her reactions to the temple's breathtaking craftsmanship: the furniture, the 9 foot solid Maple doors, the stained glass, the gold leaf trimmed ceilings, the life-size paintings of the Savior's ministry, the Bride's Room. I wanted her to see the Bride's Room.
As we exited the temple, I quickly asked if she'd take a picture with me. She is gracious enough to let me have a few minutes of her time. (Seriously, moms can be such a drag.) We ask Brother Walker to take our picture, and he says, while adjusting the camera lens, "It doesn't get better: A girl and her mom at the temple together." I sucked in my want to cry, because crying in front of your teenage daughter is totally awk sauce-- Just say no to your emotions. Instead, I pulled her in close and waited for the click.
Friday, May 14, 2010
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
I've listened to Jewels' (Julie B. Beck) conference talk about fifty times. (I call her that because we're sorta like bffs, in a way.) Here's my favorite thought from her talk:
Sunday, May 9, 2010
You may think you're staring at Sugar Lips the Drag Queen, but it's just me. I'm doing this glamorous pose just for you, and I'm hoping you're having a wonderful Mother's Day. Mothers are the best, you know, especially that mother who goes by the name of Mi Madre. Anyhoo...
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Just seconds ago Garth, from the US Census Bureau, knocked on the door. He had come to fill out another report since ours got lost in the mail, or something like that. I gave my littlest homey a crusty for answering the door--that's a no-no in our house. Only adults are allowed to answer the door.
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
While I was a student at BYU, I remember hearing all about this so-called controversial professor, Brian Evenson. Do you remember hearing about him? His book, Altmann's Tongue, which a few critics labeled gratuitously violent, ruffled the minds of some students and faculty members.
Monday, April 26, 2010
On Saturday we took a sunny drive to Pinal County's Pork Shop. If you're a close friend of mine (Stephanie and mi Madre), you know I can't stand meat, especially swine in any variety. I was a vegetarian in high school and lived on Del Taco bean and cheese burritos for about 4 years. But I married a T. rex, a total carnivore, a man who could live on meat alone, who just this morning sawed apart a sausage log and ate it for breakfast. I've surrendered to the fact that a chica must please her man so that's why we made the drive. We must have meat. We must always have meat.