I spent last semester teaching at Highland High. At the beginning of the school year I was sure that becoming a teacher was what I was born to do. But by the end of the semester, I had changed my mind.
I loved the students, the literature, and all that comes with teaching teenagers how to find their best selves. I dreamed of becoming like Mrs. Bennet, my polio stricken 11th grade English teacher, who hobbled back and forth between her podium and the rows and rows of desks while moving us through a canon of classics: The Great Gatsby, The Scarlet Letter, and Romeo and Juliet. Sitting at my desk, I repeatedly promised myself I'd become a teacher like her. It was the only way I could pay forward.
And, as soon as my littlest went back to school, I began working on my Master's and gathering experience through substitute teaching. I would become like all the Highland High Greats: Mrs. Schless, Ms. Divine, Mrs. Wallace, Mrs. Horton, and Mrs. Wayne (There are too many to list).
Through a series of experiences I had this last semester, I decided my focus needed to be more at home, not at school. This realization was shocking, and it has left me reeling. Now what am I supposed to do? How am I supposed to focus? And where do I start? In a weird way, the video below helped me begin a list of what I should do next. Have you seen it?
Have you looked into becoming a CASA? Some states call it different things. But it stands for Court appointed special advocate. You want to make a difference in kids lives, here is a great way to do it. You meet and are assigned a foster child ( or sibling set) and you objectively (because your not being paid by anyone) make sure that that child is getting the best shake the system can give them. You help make decisions on the childs best interest. It is not for the week at heart, but it definitely is for those who have a heart. You are someone that child can count on to stand up for them. To hear them. Someone they can count on when their caseworker has too many cases and gets their name mixed up. This can take as little or as much time as you will give it. Just a thought. I agree with you though, until your kids are gone gone, your needed at home. Maybe even more as they get older. Its too easy to get distracted and miss a moment, even a facial expression that would have indicated you were needed because our thoughts are elsewhere. Hang in there.
First, don't judge my grammar, I have no masters degree in english/lit. Second, since I am your faithful stalker, I almost asked Hannah last week to ask you, why you have been the absent blogger? Now I know. Loved your post, as usual. What an epiphany! Funny how motherhood calls our name when the world tells us otherwise. Anyways...we could use some English help over here. Romeo & Juliet is kicking someones butt!
Yeah. I was a teacher for a very short time. I knew it was a good, worthwhile thing to do like flossing or giving birth. Okay, maybe not flossing. Anyway, I knew right away it wasn't what I wanted to do. You will find your focus. Whatever you do, don't ask God...cuz he'll probably tell you:)
So fun! Shopping: Last Chance(Nordstorm's return store. You must show up right when they open, and you must be willing to dig for treasure and deal with crazy shoppers. this is not a fun place for kids) Right next to Last Chance there's a Zupa's Cafe, a Utah resturant that a lot of people seem to like.The Scottsdale Fashion Square is fun too, but there's nothing there you don't have in LV. For your kids: McCormick-Stillman Railroad Park--best playground and they have train rides for a reasonable price. Eating: LaGrande Orange, Zin Burger, Blu Burger. If you feel like driving about 30min away, the Organ Stop Pizza is really fun. You listen to a live organ performance while eating pretty good pizza. I hope you have a wonderful trip!!!
It's so hard to know what the right thing to do is. It's certainly something I've struggled with over the years. I'm sure you'll kick butt at whatever you decide to pursue!
Have you looked into becoming a CASA? Some states call it different things. But it stands for Court appointed special advocate. You want to make a difference in kids lives, here is a great way to do it. You meet and are assigned a foster child ( or sibling set) and you objectively (because your not being paid by anyone) make sure that that child is getting the best shake the system can give them. You help make decisions on the childs best interest. It is not for the week at heart, but it definitely is for those who have a heart. You are someone that child can count on to stand up for them. To hear them. Someone they can count on when their caseworker has too many cases and gets their name mixed up. This can take as little or as much time as you will give it. Just a thought. I agree with you though, until your kids are gone gone, your needed at home. Maybe even more as they get older. Its too easy to get distracted and miss a moment, even a facial expression that would have indicated you were needed because our thoughts are elsewhere. Hang in there.
ReplyDeleteFirst, don't judge my grammar, I have no masters degree in english/lit. Second, since I am your faithful stalker, I almost asked Hannah last week to ask you, why you have been the absent blogger? Now I know. Loved your post, as usual. What an epiphany! Funny how motherhood calls our name when the world tells us otherwise. Anyways...we could use some English help over here. Romeo & Juliet is kicking someones butt!
ReplyDeleteI love you, Miss Heidi! Hannah is dropping Mr. Barner's class, so she will miss your Chloe.
ReplyDeleteIt's hard to live in a consumer world. Aren't you a writer?
ReplyDeleteYeah. I was a teacher for a very short time. I knew it was a good, worthwhile thing to do like flossing or giving birth. Okay, maybe not flossing. Anyway, I knew right away it wasn't what I wanted to do. You will find your focus. Whatever you do, don't ask God...cuz he'll probably tell you:)
ReplyDeleteP.S. I'm going to be in Scottsdale for a couple days with my hubs and kids, what's fun to do in the area?
ReplyDeleteSo fun! Shopping: Last Chance(Nordstorm's return store. You must show up right when they open, and you must be willing to dig for treasure and deal with crazy shoppers. this is not a fun place for kids) Right next to Last Chance there's a Zupa's Cafe, a Utah resturant that a lot of people seem to like.The Scottsdale Fashion Square is fun too, but there's nothing there you don't have in LV. For your kids: McCormick-Stillman Railroad Park--best playground and they have train rides for a reasonable price. Eating: LaGrande Orange, Zin Burger, Blu Burger. If you feel like driving about 30min away, the Organ Stop Pizza is really fun. You listen to a live organ performance while eating pretty good pizza. I hope you have a wonderful trip!!!
ReplyDeleteIt's so hard to know what the right thing to do is. It's certainly something I've struggled with over the years. I'm sure you'll kick butt at whatever you decide to pursue!
ReplyDelete