Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Stepmom

Some of you know I've been getting serious about my physical fitness. I've been taking classes at the gym everyday (except Sundays) for two weeks straight. I'm growing buns of steel, and my mental health has improved 100%. Everyday, I tell mi Amor, "I can't believe I've gone 35 years with little or no exercise."

On Tuesdays and Fridays I take a step class, and I'm the worst in the class. I trip all over the place. I mess up the moves, and I mambo in the opposite direction of everyone else, every time. A girl in my ward watched me do some moves, and now she won't sit next to me in RS--embarrassing. (Just Kidding, Tammy. I know you're not judging me.)

The other day, while I was setting up my step station, a girl in a tight pink t-shirt and black yoga pants came up to me and said:

"Um, excuse me. You're not setting up right. As you can see (she pointed to all the other step professionals in our class), you're lining up your step wrong. You should have the right hand corner of your step aligned with the silver dot. Have you ever been to this class before?"

"Heck, yes!" I said confidently.

"Well, you may want to scooch over there so you don't get hurt."

"Thanks, Mom." I said in my head.

Well, the only guy in our class came over to where I was standing and invited me to step next to him, so I strutted my stuff over to a new spot, away from my stepmom. She was making me grouchy.

During the class I would periodically look over at my stepmom and check her work. And guess what I discovered? Her step moves stink like beef and cheese. And you know what else? She couldn't do her push-ups. Guess who could? Whoop, Whoop! That's right. Me and Gwen Stefani!

P.S. Did you know that I love Gwen Stefani? We're kinda of like BFFs.

12 comments:

  1. I LOVE Gwen Stefani too. She is awesome. Although I'm not quite so awesome as you two in the push-ups dept. Good job on your dedication!

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  2. You go girl! Don't let them ruin your groove! Serves the stepmom right for being such a snot.

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  3. Impressed with the push ups! I don't think I've ever been able to do more than 1-2 real ones. But I am more impressed with the daily exercise for 2 weeks. Way to go!!

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  4. "Her step moves stink like beef and cheese!" I'm going to quote that somewhere.

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  5. ooooo- "step"mom! Just got that! :)

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  6. I now look for her in each class. Then I set up on the opposite side of the room. I don't need her all up in my beeswax!

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  7. I got the saying, "beef and cheese" from watching Sponge Bob. You won't want to use that quote, Louise. It's the language of a simpleton, and you're anything but.

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  8. Woot Woot! You go girl.

    Step class associates are sometimes skinny which makes them lame.

    Where's the backstory on skinny?

    At least, after having 4 kids, I can give a good excuse for my extra love-weight, right?!

    Hang in there and rock those push-ups.

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  9. Meg, She wasn't exactly skinny, but I never want to comment on weight because it's a sensitive subject. But, I'm going to go ahead and say my rear end is a teensy bit smaller.

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  10. I was so vividly picturing this!!! haha. love it. Gwen is like one of a very select few female singers i can stand listening to. I dont mean it like that I actually love her and no one else thats what i meant. Plus I love her harajuku line. I'm trying to get my kids to love it too but I am having a hard time affording it sometimes :)

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  11. You should have seen me in step class years ago. It was really embarassing! Good for you with working out like a superstar! I've been doing the same thing--working out. It's not easy to keep at it, but I sure feel better now that I'm doing it :)

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  12. Sounds like Stepmom stinks like GROUND BEEF AND CHEESE... tell her to back off, she doesn't know who she's dealing with.

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