Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Pickup Lines

I love taking the young women home after our mutual activities. We rock out to music and talk about the latest: boys, boys, boys. One girl told us about her D-I-S-A-S-T-R-O-U-S first date. The best part of her story was the pickup line he used to ask her on a second date. Here's what he texted her:

Boy: Can you help me solve a math problem?
Girl: Yes.
Boy: You+Me+Polar Ice=...........(A. Big. Fat. No.)

The other girls began listing additional pickup lines, and we laughed all the way home. I'm listing our top five favorites for your reading pleasure.

Boy: Is your name Virtue?
Girl: No.
Boy: Because you're garnishing my thoughts unceasingly.

Boy: What's your favorite temple?
Girl: Mesa, AZ.
Boy: Well, I'm looking at mine.

Boy: Do you have a map?
Girl: No.
Boy: Because I keep getting lost in your eyes.

Boy: Do you have something stuck in your eyes?
Girl: No.
Boy: It's your eyes sparkling.

Boy: Did it hurt?
Girl: Did what hurt?
Boy: When you fell from Heaven and landed in my heart.

I know you've fallen for double-decker cheesy. You probably married him. And now Mr. Cheese Whiz continues to tell you romantic one-liners and believing him has placed you in a pile of laundry, with a handful of kids. You should have been like the young women and texted him a big: No. Thank. You. But maybe you're like me, and you're crazy about your kids (not so much the laundry part), and you wouldn't have your life be any other way, cheese and all.

p.s.--Here's the pickup line mi Amor used on me while we were stocking denim at the Gap. (We worked together.)

Boy: Do you have Captain Crunch cereal?
Girl: Yes. (I really didn't.)
Boy: Can I come over and eat some?
Girl: (Heart melting like butter in a microwave) Yes. Yes. Yes. (I only said it once.)

p.p.s--I text mi Amor cheesy pickup lines almost daily. "Your moves are so smooth," was my latest and greatest. It keeps things spicy and extra cheesy!


  1. Okay, I am trying to post a comment again... something went haywire. HELLO FRIEND KATY! So sweet to hear from you... you can stock my blog anytime... especially if you leave a comment because then I know you were stocking me...ha! I have had a trip down memory lane checking your blog out... you are still the same old Katy I remember and I am loving that!

    Okay, I decided long ago that BYU guys gave the cheesiest pick up lines. Here is one I heard:

    "Is your father a robber?"
    "Uh, no, he is a Los Angeles Sheriff"
    "Uh, well, I mean... because he has stolen all of the stars from the skies and placed them in your eyes."


    Or this one. One time a guy took me on a date to the Provo temple and we sat on the lawn in front. He said "I keep picturing you in white and I can't get it out of my head"... I was outta there.

    You can share those gems with you young women.

  2. Okay, I don't get: you+me+polar ice. I don't get it.

  3. Polar Ice is a local ice skating rink. The help he needed to solve the math equation was her yes or no answer to having a date at Polar Ice. He was a goon.

  4. Tracey, The dressed in white comment is incredible. I'll be sharing that one in opening exercises this Sunday. It'll make for a good spiritual moment:)

  5. off the subject, i wish i knew how to knit or crochet... do you know how? i think I have been to purlsoho before. sometimes if quilthome is out of a fabric I'm looking for I have to look elsewhere!

  6. Katy - you are adorable.... I bet those young women just LOVE you! It was good to see you last night :)

  7. I guess I better have a little talk with my 3 sons and make sure they don't ever talk that way to a girl!!

  8. Those are some good ones! I like the virtue one and the temple one. I'm kinda jealous you get to work with the young women. They seem like such an outstanding bunch of girls. Here's one a guy said to me at a YSA dance once:
    "Would you go out with a guy that looks like me?" (he was kinda scary looking)
    "yes" (no)
    "okay when?"
    So it was sort of more like a trap actually.

  9. That made me laugh out loud, Kate! That was a serious trap.

    Your boys would never talk like that, Jolyn!