Two of my homies have missed the bus for the last three days in a row. On the first day I said, "Tomorrow, we'll be better. We'll lay out our clothes and pack our lunches the night before." My homies agreed to do these things; and they did.
But the next day, due to my hanging out at the shaving sink with mi Amor, blabbering on and on to him about nothing (something about the ingredients found in belly lint), I let time slip by until, again, it was too late to catch the bus. That day I committed to zipping my lips, no matter how the next day's shave would beckon me to ask mi Amor how he felt about the founders of the Bumpits company. (Do you own one? Huh? Do you?)
So the next day is today, and we missed the bus again. Again! Can you even fathom this situation? We have no excuse. None. As I sat in the car this morning debating whether or not I could make the eight minute drive to the bus stop in three minutes, I turned to my homies and said, "No one cares about making the bus, especially you two. So I guess you won't care if you have to sit here for the next twenty minutes so you can think up a solution to this problem. They said, "Fine. We'll sit here and think about it."
Twenty-plus minutes went by, and I really thought that after finishing my shower I'd find the two of them crouched in the pantry, eating chocolate covered pretzels.
"Boys!" I called out, while closing the shower door. But there was no answer. "They're still in the car!" I thought to myself. "They're taking our time management, bus-missing problem seriously!" Just as I finished assuming the very best case scenario, my littlest homie ran into the bathroom and said, "You've left us out in the car so long that I grew this mustache while you were gone. What do you think? Huh? Do I look like a gorgeous babe?"
I said, "I think I give up!" And then I took a closer look at his manly stache, and together, like two carefree hyenas, we laughed and laughed.
I'm so glad we missed today's bus.
P.S. The car was parked in the cool, shady garage.
P.P.S If you're curious about the ingredients found in belly lint, click here.