Monday, January 2, 2012
At our neighborhood New Year's Eve party, my neighbor asked, "Are you prepared for the Second Coming?" I replied, "I'm pretty sure I'll be torched." He chuckled, but then turned in closer and repeated the question in all seriousness. I thought to myself, this is getting kind of weird, but for some sick and twisted reason I'm going to entertain his question, as if it's any of his beeswax if I'm prepared or not.
I said, "I don't think about it much. I have close to six months' worth of food stored and 72 hour kits for each of my family members. But heaven knows there will be a major catastrophe and we won't be able to carry the food with us and we'll all starve and go Donner Party on each other."
He continued, unphased by my last comment, "Don't you ever read Revelations? Do you wonder about the moon turning to blood and the stars falling from the sky? Like, do you want to know what all that means?"
"No," I said, "those metaphors are for the Lord to know and for me to not think about, because when I start thinking too much about them, I become dysfunctional." (He is obviously unaware of my tendency toward pandemonium any time I hear or discuss forthcoming gloom and doom.)
"Well, they mean the earth will be knocked off its axis. Did you know that?" "No, and that's kind of scary to think about," I said. And then I turned my back and lit my sparkler. Totally awkward, right?
But then I decided I'd better read the Book of Mormon, again, and brush-up on my scriptural knowledge base. I found this daily schedule that's manageable for a family filled with kids of varying ages. If you're interested in reading the BOM this year too, here's the link.
P.S. I do not take the signs of the Second Coming lightly, however, when someone asks me such personal questions, I will respond with ridiculous answers.
at 8:43 PM